The Wire Season 5

And so we have reached the final season and we are 4/10 episodes in. The entertainment levels are higher than ever but the standards and credibility of the storyline have slipped. Just a little. It feels like they have just eased off on the throttle. We are currently in soap opera territory where every character is in jeopardy. Who will survive? The newspaper storyline feels like it was crowbarred in and there seems to be very little connect with the rest of the show so far (apart from a few scenes where McNulty meets a Sun reporter). The Burrell stuff (trying to keep spoilers out of this) and the serial killer stuff doesn't feel like a strong enough bond so far. 6 more episodes to go so we'll see how it develops. But just maybe given the journalism background of the writers this season is a little self indulgent and the cop/drugs stuff has been stretched out to provide a scaffold for their rants about newspaper cuts.

The Wire

I don't like bandwagons. I refused to vote for New Labour (and I was right). I refused to get into Oasis when all around me were losing their heads (and I was right). Everyone started going on about the Sopranos. I just couldn't be bothered. I don't like gangster films and as far as I was concerned this was just a cheap rip off for TV. Incidentally I saw Goodfellas for the first time a few weeks ago and I loved it even though it felt like a feature length special of the Sopranos set in the 1960s. Anyway I was wrong about the Sopranos. My wife and I spent nearly a year picking through it (there must be over a hundred episodes) and avoiding spoilers that would just spring up without warning in newspapers and magazines.

With spoiler avoidance in mind we decided to try out season one of the Wire. The weight of good reviews, starting off with Charlie Brooker on Screenwipe, broke the dam. From all of this positive press we knew to expect a realistic show that treats the viewers like adults with a brain and that there would be no good guys and bad guys. It was all this and more. More than any other TV show it moved me to another world. I just forgot who I was each time I watched it because I was totally immersed. I was standing next to the guys on the roof taking pictures. I was laughing as McNulty got his kids to do surveillance of drug dealers and egging Omar on as he robbed drug dealers (the best character in season 1 for me). I was nervously looking around and hoping no-one was going to get Wallace so he had a chance to go back to school and get his life together. Wallace deserved this because he looked after all the drug orphan kids in the neighbourhood and seeing that guy with the hole in his eye broke his brain. That was his only crime. Being too sensitive. And they still... Now I'm doing it. Spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I used the past the tense about Wallace there.

Spoilers are now my enemy and yours too if you're also catching up. Before I saw the end of The Wire series one I was looking at some box sets in Sainsburys and right there on the cover of season 4 was a picture that told me the outcome of season 1. I said 'bastard' out loud and a middle aged lady with a suit scowled at me but nuts to her because the season finale was ruined. What idiot put that image on the front of the box? The DVDs are silly too. To play an episode you have to go via a menu that tells you what happens in that episode. Duh. The synopsis is written in the same font as the 'play episode' text. Silly.

Why didn't I just start watching The Sopranos and The Wire and Battlestar Galactica when they first came out? Good telly, give it a go. First answer - Lost. Gave it a try and very quickly realised they were just making it up as they went along. Second answer - 24. Third answer - Heroes. I'm lying on that last one. I watched one episode and spotted the upcoming bullshit straight off. Some shows are worth the effort for at least a season or two. Like My Name is Earl which didn't jump the shark until season 3. The Big Bang Theory is still awesome and might even make it to my DVD collection. South Park is weird in that it gets better with age like wine unlike The Simpsons whose ass has turned to vinegar. Honestly that show is dead to me now. My latest experiment is East Bound and Down. Seen episode 1 and it was very funny. So I'll take the gamble and be ready to abandon ship if I see it starts to sink. I might be investing my time in a flop but this is a gamble worth taking because by being up to date I'll avoid those dreaded spoilers.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Much has been written about the 'seminal masterpiece' computer game grand theft auto iv which has just been released. In this game a person plays the role of a criminal in a virtual city. One of the key attractions of the game is its 'sandbox' gameplay; if you choose you can ignore the missions and just hang out in the city. You can watch TV, eat chicken ignore stop signs and red lights. You can also go on a murderous rampage with a baseball bat or fill innocent bystanders with lead. Defenders of this say that it is just tongue in cheek fun and a bit of stress relief. Any sane person can distinguish the game from reality. Why should we all be denied access to something fun just because there are a few vulnerable and suggestive people out there?

Which is exactly the same argument the pro-gun lobby make in the USA.

Lonely Planet

The US government used the 'Lonely Planet' tourist guidebook as a source of information prior to the invasion of Iraq. That's right, the average browser in WH Smith would be as well informed as the US armed forces and intelligence. I suppose the soldiers would know where the best pubs and restaurants were but as for roads and water supplies.... they weren't exactly covered.

It reminds me of the episode of Red Dwarf where the computer Holly thinks the crew are losing faith in him so he tricks them into thinking he gets his information about space from the Ladybird Book of Space. And then along comes the backup computer Queeg who is much more efficient but ultimately makes the life of the crew harder so they want Holly back. I guess the moral of the story is people are prepared to accept second best as long as it makes things easier for them.

Darkness Falls

This weekend I watched a few episodes from season 1 of the X-Files for the first time since I was a young teenager. One episode caught my eye. Mulder and Scully go into the woods to investigate the dissappearance of some loggers. It turns out the loggers cut down some really old trees in which there were some dormant insects, a bit like small fireflies. These attacked the loggers, drained them of all usefull bodily fluids and cocooned them. Except not during daytime or under lights. It turns out that the bugs don't work under light. Cue tense scenes in the log cabin with the petrol for the generator running low. One thing struck me when I rewatched this episode; why didn't they just light a fire? When they made a run for it why not carry burning logs? They were in a forest full of wood, why not use some of it? I also listened to a 1992 interview with Douglas Adams this weekend. He said he didn't like the fact that the rational skeptic was always derided on the X-Files and always turned out to be wrong. I still love the show but some of the conpiracy episodes now look just dumb. The standalone episodes were great, movie quality, well written and filmed and these are the ones that will endure. Even Darkness Falls.

The BBC

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the BBC is far too left wing liberal and over represents women and minority groups. I am told (by a woman with left wing liberal politics) that there a small number of bigots who always say this about the BBC and that people in the US say the same thing about CNN. Well, I'm not saying that I disagree with equality and that my politics aren't liberal (in places). I'm saying that the BBC should be upfront about its agenda or it should be politically neutral and objective. Take BBC breakfast news as an example. On the show today they had features about daycare centres that offer others services such as dry cleaning, a report into the best ways to keep children occupied during long summer car journeys and an examination of why most primary school teachers are women. I don't have a problem with this content but it is not news and should not be labelled as such. Thank god I have BBC radio 4 when I leave the house.

Stupid Humans

The human race is bloody stupid and, therefore, doomed. Yesterday, during a 15 minute TV programme designed to summarise all the important recent events in the Universe the newsreader spent a minute describing which man had managed to most efficiently try and get little plastic balls into holes in the ground by hitting them with metal sticks. I will never understand the appeal of playing golf, let alone watching the silly 'sport'.

Remember A Day

Do you remember when the television had to be left to warm up for ten minutes when it was first switched on? Do you remember when programmes didn't start until 9 or 10 in the morning? Remember when it was News at 10, a film and then the national anthem. Remember just four channels? Remember five or ten buttons on the front of the TV, a volume and contrast/brightness/colour knobs and no remote? Remember getting in from school and watching kids TV whilst mum made dinner and you waited for dad to come home? How 2, Grange Hill, Count Duckula, Thundercats, Bagpuss, Byker Grove, Knightmare. Do you remember when childrens TV presenters had to press the buttons to start the next cartoon and fade it out at the end?

All gone. None of this any more. I saw a show on BBC 4 last night about the history of childrens TV. The BBC asked Oliver Postgate how he mananged to get the sound of Ivan the Engine being emptied of coal. His answer; I just got some coal in a bucket and poured it into another bucket. Do you remember when TV was made on a smaller scale without focus groups and PC?

The Emperor Has No Clothes

Gilbert & George, artists based in East London since the mid 1960's have been exhibited at Tate Modern and last night the BBC did a show about them. One thing struck me; they are an intriguing and original pair of people, their artwork is provocative and they have stuck at it and defied all the odds but.... their work isn't any good. It's just all reaction and no content. They have been pretty much ignored all these years but now Tate has decided to exhibit them, the first British artists to have an exhibit (normally British artists exhibit at Tate Britain). And why? Just because they seem to have decided they are now trendy. But when I take a proper look at their work, past the reactionary, provocative content and just at the work I just feel that the Emperor Has No Clothes.

BBC Horizon

The flagship BBC science documentary program Horizon last night broadcast a program about fire safety in skyscrapers.

Enough said.

Britain decides to renew Trident nuclear missile system

A quote from Yes Prime Minister Series 1

Sir Humphrey: "Don't you believe that Britain should have the best?"

Jim Hacker: "Yes, of course."

Sir Humphrey: "Very well, if you walked into a nuclear missile showroom you would buy Trident - it's lovely, it's elegant, it's beautiful. It is quite simply the best. And Britain should have the best. In the world of the nuclear missile it is the Saville Row suit, the Rolls Royce Corniche, the Château Lafitte 1945. It is the nuclear missile Harrods would sell you. What more can I say?"

Jim Hacker: "Only that it costs £15 billion and we don't need it."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, you can say that about anything at Harrods."

The Trap - Adam Curtis

A new three part documentary has just started its run on BBC 2. Called 'The Trap' it seeks to paint an individualist picture of modern western society and seeks to explain how we are all caught in the trap of private self interest. It is argued that this is ruining our lives and destroying community ties. This ideology was sprung out of the game theory based cold war lose-lose strategy and is diametrically opposed to the communist eradication of individualism and the belief in the collective. Modern target/league table driven culture has ruined education and the NHS. The first application of target driven management was in the Vietnam war when targets were set for kills of enemy soldiers. The US army duly met these targets by shooting innocent civilians.

I have only seen the first part of this meisterwerk but that was enough to stun me. This was, quite simply, the best hour that I have spent in front of a television in years and years. Writer and director Adam Curtis will no doubt be showered with yet more awards. I knew about the individual pieces of the puzzle but I have never seen before how they all slotted together. Being from South Yorkshire hatred of Thatcherism is in my blood but it has now reached new levels of concentration. Charlie Brooker has blogged about 'The Trap' from a TVphile/media perspective.

Guest blogger - Sideshow Nic on media regulatory fun

The current furore over the great TV phone in rip off has no doubt fascinated many media watchers. I was watching TV coverage on this yesterday (there was the promise of more scandal to come btw) and I found myself reminded of the last scandal that happened under the nose of a media regulator, which saw many members of the public ripped off.

The Auction World.tv scandal happened back in 2004 and I would consider it a result of the failure of the regulator responsible, Ofcom, to react to a fast changing world of multichannel TV. Auction and shopping TV channels were a relatively new addition to British TV, but Ofcom didn't keep up, and before long Aution World.tv were the focus of an unprecedented amount of complaints from members of the public who had paid over the odds for substandard jewellery - if they even received the goods that they'd paid for at all. Ofcom eventually reacted to the complaints, fined Auction World.tv a record £450,000 and finally revoked their broadcasting license. This sent the rogue TV channel into bankruptcy and left hundreds out of pocket, and it could be argued that had Ofcom been quicker to act more people may have been able to get their money back. You can read the final Ofcom adjudication here while Wikipedia sums up the whole sorry affair here.

The TV phone in rip off could be seen as a repeat of Auction World - ICSTIS, the regulator, has failed to understand the growing interactive TV market, with the result that all kinds of dodgy practices have crept in. This won't be as bad as Auction World and people stand some chance of getting their money back this time. But surely regulators themselves now need to be placed under the spotlight and asked why they seem unable to keep up with progress in their supposed fields of expertise.

Science on TV

Science is in crisis. University Physics Departments are being closed down. Just today we have a talk in our University Department about how to attract more students to study Physics at University. There could be many reasons for the slump but one factor is the way Science is portrayed in the media.

Take the TV. When I first got interested in Science there were three flagship science programmes. Documentaries were shown regularly and on the schools programmes. On the commercial channels there is now no science. We are just left with Horizon on the BBC. This used to be a good show but it has steadily been dumbed down in recent years with more explosions and CG effects. This series, in an effort to chase ratings, the science has been watered down to the point of being pointless.

The nadir is the episode to go out tonight which will examine what the world would be like if the dinosaurs had survived.

WTF

Cue a pointless excuse to show dinosaur CG effects in a modern setting. I am going to watch this show just because I know I will spend an hour shouting at the TV for being pointless. At least it'll make me react.

Good TV

At the moment I am mostly watching

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Top Gear
Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe
West Wing Season 2

Rolling News Low Point

Last night a train derailed and slid down a steep embankment. I am a regular Virgin trains user and the experience must have been harrowing. Something happened last night on BBC News 24 that made me feel numb.

A BBC employee/reporter happened to be travelling in one of the coaches and she phoned in to give a live report from inside one of the stricken coaches. Around her we could hear the sounds of windows being broken as people made their exit and screams and shouts from hurt/scared passengers. She sounded most pleased with herself to be in such a career enhacing position.

Put yourself in that situation. As people are trying to evacuate a stricken train and help others to escape your first though is to phone your boss and enhance your career prospects. Why not get out of the train and help everyone else out and then do everything you can to look after injured people outside the train first? Then think about handing over an eyewitness report. These were tasteless and selfish first instincts.

Weather forecasts; BBC vs Five

The BBC introduced a new graphics format for weather forecasts in 2005. The brightness of the map indicates cloud cover and temperature which means that most of the time the UK is a horrible sludge brown colour. The map was angled which made Northern England and Scotland disproportionatly small. This was supposedly to resemble the curvature of the earth but the effect suggested that the country should be viewed from the south and that the north was 'up there' somewhere ie away from 'us'. To rectify this the BBC decided to extend the length of time spent doing their 'flyby'. At a given time of day we visit each part of the country to see what the weather is like. This is highly bewildering and I soon switch off, especially during some of the more needlessly elaborate forecasts.

It should be simple. Map of UK, short summary, then talk about rain, wind, temperature, hours of light and any other relevant details. 'It will be mild tomorrow with a band of rain moving from the southwest across the country during the day'. Keeping an eye on a clock in the bottom corner could help me to figure out when the rain will hit me. The old system that the BBC used was great and they did the best forecast on TV, with isobars and everything. The new system claims an accuracy for itself that it does not possess and as a communication tool that relies on clear graphics it is fundamentally flawed. If you would like to complain then e-mail them.

The other TV channels attempt a weather forecast but I don't have much more to say about any of them except Channel 5, who do the best forecast on TV at the moment. Quick, simple and memorable, it does not indulge itself in a virtual, time accurate flyby of a brown bit of land. Five are also currently producing excellent kids TV and by showing the best of American TV they are providing quality TV in a cost effective manner. And Megastructures is one of my favourite shows.